Tuesday, 28 December 2010

In three words i can sum up everything i've learned about life : it goes on- Robert Frost

On Monday December 27th i turned 21! Ive absolutely milked my birthdays in the past so i just wanted a nice little get together with some of my fabulous old friends from high school. I think its so important to keep in touch and its moments like these when we can all come together and have a good natter. With graduation coming up in the next year, most of the questions i faced was what to do with my life. Having my birthday so close to the New Year provides me with a double clean slate to re-evaluate and think about what i want to do in the next year. So with my new found love of lists here is the 5 things i want to accomplish/do/change in the next year.

1) NOT to go straight into a 9-5 after graduation. Worst nightmare ever. I want to keep learning, not academically but creatively.

2) Be a nicer, more humble person :) I don't think I'm a horrible person in the slightest. Theres always room for improvement. I hate awkward silences and making people feel uncomfortable. I may have made people feel like that sometimes, but not on purpose and i really do try 100%

3) Moving on to a more darker side. Watch more scary movies ! Sounds silly and probably is, but i like the idea of getting 'scared'. Might shit my pants at the time, but i like believing in things like that. Give me a video cam and night lights and I'll happily go ghost hunting with the 'Most Haunted' lot.

4) Make plans to travel. I don't want to just keep thinking about it and i may not achieve the trip of my dreams until 2012, but atleast I'll have the foundation set. I love going on family holidays, but i want to do something more exhilarating, challenging and brave.

5) Couple months left of uni ? My mentality- work hard, player harder. I want to have fun, go crazy, make new friends, make mistakes and live those last six months at uni like they're my last six months left on Earth.

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Lots of people want to ride with you in a limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down- Oprah Winfrey

Its Christmas time again and that means a lot of fattening food and a lot of time spent with the nearest and dearest. Unfortunately for me, there was a certain type of guilt that lingered with me for a while. See the thing was for the past two months i hadn't been talking to one of my best friends. Early October seemed a momentous time for trivial things to be blown out of proportion and for hot tempered words to be thrown around with fiery ease. However, this Tuesday afternoon over a cup of skinny vanilla latte and a deadly hangover, those troubles got resolved. Ive been on one heck of an emotional roller coaster and I'm pretty sure Katherine has too. The following is the 5 most important things Ive learnt from being in a fight:

1) Meeting as fresh faced freshers, we hit it off instantly. A 7pm trip to the local chippie turned into an all night rave and a bed time of 6am. You'd think after two years of having crazy nights like that we'd have the guts to say what was on our mind to each others faces. That's the thing- I've learnt i don't have the guts to be upfront. The most horrific display of text messaging was sent back and forth. Complete disaster.

2) Ive also learnt that embarrassing moments with someone you used to be so close with are inevitable to avoid. Katherine coming out of the shower with me suddenly bursting around the corner resulting in her screaming, happened on a couple of occasions. It then resulted in the one second self debate as to whether i should laugh at the situation or not. That came across as a half lopsided smile on my face. I looked incredibly silly.

3)No matter how many fantastic people I've met since not speaking to Katherine ( and i have met some AMAZING people)it was never and never would have been the same. For two years Katherine and i had been frolicking in the world of our own private jokes and signature nights out. The depths of my life story lie with her- my secrets, my troubles, my highs and my lows. She knows me better than anyone else. So not being able to talk to a person who knew me that well, even though she lived in the room next door, still felt incredibly weird. Like one of those annoying jigsaw puzzles, that always had a piece missing. Frustrating.

4) Two months is a long time. Yeah it really is, yet it went too quick in our ignorance of each other. Being a stubborn brat for two months, is golden time lost. There were times in the whole situation when i was angry, hurt, felt like a villain, annoyed and just simply wanting my old life back. I have my own life back now :)

5) The final thing I've learnt, is that having a one hour conversation with Katherine in a dim little corner of Starbucks made me so incredibly happy. I don't think I've ever been happier getting things of my chest. Ive never been happier making up with someone. I have been happy with the new friends I've made, but nothing compared to the original golden oldie.

Monday, 29 November 2010

I am thankful for laughter- except when milk comes out of my nose- Woody Allen

Whilst innocently surfing the net, i came across an absolutely fabulous article written by a low-key author, Debra Lauman. Being initially inspired by a thread in a forum entitled 'What are you thankful for', Lauman set out on a mission to compile a list of 100 things she was thankful for. Reading through the list i couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with the amount of things we have in our life. We constantly moan and complain about everything. Therefore, I'm going to take initiative and make a smaller list of 20 of the things I'm so very thankful for :

1)My parents. Of course. I love them to bits. People don't seem to realise what an incredibly strict upbringing Ive had, but I'm glad. I will always have a good head on my shoulders, due to everything they taught me.

2)My friends. Never a dull moment. Enough said.

3)Living in Dubai for two years. Ive been incredibly lucky to live a completely different life to the one i lived in England. I had never seen a sandstorm in my life. That soon became a daily occurrence.

4)Seeing Wimbledon tennis from my window. Yes for the first ten years of my life i avoided the queues of people in tents down my road, as i had a view from my window. Even though I'm not the biggest tennis fan in the world.

5)Having a pink limo for my 17th. That was pretty exciting.

6)Travelling. My dad runs his own business. When i was younger, we were always thrown on planes to accompany him to his latest destinations. Ive been to Spain 15 times, Germany 4 times, Amsterdam 4 times plus many other destinations.

7) Umbrellas. The life span for mine don't usually last long. I'm the person who stands there soaking wet with my umbrella upside down, looking an utter mess- but for the time period it does survive, it becomes my best friend.

8) Franky's and Bennie's. Best restaurant EVER

9) Treadmills. The sit there looking dark and gloomy, but they save lives- they really do.

10) My contact lenses. Without them i am nearing blindness. I wear glasses in the comforts of my own home. Going out with glasses is a big no-no. I cherish my contact lenses with my life

11) Living away from home. Being at university is the ideal time to learn. Casting my mind back from being a fresh faced fresher on my first day, I've changed so much. In terms of maturity, personality and appearance. Ive grown more into myself. I know my likes and dislikes more. I'm more confident.

12) Having my heart smashed. It hurts like a bitch. Ive been put through so much shit in the past two years. I'm not fazed anymore. I know what to do. It'll still hurt but I'll smile and handle it.

13) Bras. Working at Debenhams, I've realised good support is EVERYTHING.

14) Lady Gaga. Thank you for being a freak. Everybody should embrace their inner freak

15) Tearing my ligaments twice. I missed a good few days off school plus it gave me a few good stories to tell.

16) Going away to America for a month when i was 18. I needed to get away and concentrate on myself more. I will never ever forget the people i met there.

17) The man who gave me a tissue when i was crying on a plane leaving JFK.

18) Having two brothers. Makes you tougher than you think. I adore them

19) Change. I'm thankful for change. Its good to mix it up a bit every now and then. I hate to be boring

20) Being from South London. I look innocent enough, but Ive been raised in a certain way.

Sunday, 14 November 2010

The only thing left to do is to forgive and forget...i want to forgive you and i want to forget you- Lauren Conrad

I've always hated reality shows such as Big Brother. People trying to get famous with infuriatingly tiny clothes on and big mouths has never been my preferred choice of entertainment. However, there is another kind of popular reality series that i do prefer to watch. Sitting there watching re-runs of 'The Hills', i can say that while it is definitely true that a lot of people from the show want to be famous, others are simply trying to get their 'foot in the door'.

The series finale, showed a 'fake' Hollywood backdrop being lifted, while Kristin ran to Brody to give him a playful hug, after only minutes before dramatically telling him goodbye. While the realistic credibility may have been lost after this, with letting the audience form their own ending- the people, drama, story lines and careers are all real. People in this show have used the shows success to their advantage ( and maybe disadvantage ! ) to carve their own personal niche for themselves.

For every person in this world, there'll always be a good friend like Lauren giving you words of wisdom. There'll always be the friend you thought would be there till the end, yet there'll always be that drama to push it all away. There'll always be a Justin Bobby who will keep coming back to the same girl and there'll always be an Audrina who will always come running back. There'll always be a Brody, living the dream and breaking the hearts of whoever he meets along the way and there'll always be a Kristin, someone who wont let anything get in their way with their tough exterior. More importantly, there'll always be a 'Speidi'- a deluded set of characters who you'll never understand.

As much as some people can claim to hate this show, it offers little life lessons that everyone can benefit from. Its happened to me on many occasions, seeing my life being played out through someone else on television. The show came to a dramatic end this summer. However, I'm pretty sure that this has welcomed a new wave of 'reality series', most noticeably an insight into Whitney Port's flourishing career in 'The City'. We also have our own homegrown series 'The Only Way is Essex'- this one causes more of a divide between viewers. I wonder why !

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

If you've got a big mouth and you're controversial, you're going to get attention- Simon Cowell

Long before those dazzling pearly whites were put on display for us to ogle at, Simon Cowell was just another little runner working in the mail room of a recording company. Fast forward to 2010, Cowell resides in a $22 million mansion in Beverly Hills, engaged to makeup artist to the stars- Mezghan Hussainy, and probably the biggest television executive and personality in the world. Hard work, determination and courage goes into career outcomes like this, yet Simon made it on his own individual unique accord. Quotes such as ' if you win this competition, we will have failed', 'i don't mean to be rude, but you look like the Incredible Hulks wife' and 'if you would have been singing this two thousand years ago, you would have been stoned'- firstly stunned the world. Years later, we sit there and just giggle along with him. Hes become a self made legend with his cut throat remarks and insults.

Gordon Ramsey frequently stirs up tension on Hell's Kitchen, for what used to make uncomfortable viewing. That was rapidly replaced by the electrifying amusement and praise of whipping the diva-esque group of trivial Ready Steady Cookers into world-class chefs. He knew his own craft A-Z, and his success was initiated by the ability to instill fear into the eyes of young wannabes. Not bad for a guy who moved out of his house at 16 due to a troubled childhood.

However, having a couple of years on the two previous mouthy TV stars, Anna Wintour has carved out her own special niche. Absolutely nothing in the fashion realm goes ahead until it gets a nod of approval from her. Minutes after designers unveil their collections on the catwalk, pictures get released to the media of Wintour's stoic expressions on the front row. Its enough to get top designers trembling in their boots, as to whether their months worth of hard work has been approved or not. The 2009 documentary 'The September Issue' depicted loyal hardworking Vogue employees of Anna, walking on egg shells to impress her. Unlike Simon or Gordon, Anna isn't vocal. She doesn't humiliate people nor does she give them an earful. Yet its the harshness that projected within her. She knows what she wants and managed to obtain that with her presence.

The reason why i write this post is to show that sometimes you need to have a thicker skin to be successful. Maybe not so much as these three examples that I've highlighted, but a little drive and push is enough to get what you want. However, i think sometimes we forget to mention that these insanely successful people are emotive too. Nowadays, Simon regularly sits there and praises the idea of the 'British Dream' and the creative outcomes of the young people in our great ol' British Society. He, himself may be living the 'American Dream', but you can tell that England will always be his home. Gordon on the other hand, has on many occasions shown his love towards his wife of 14 years, while Anna's eyes twinkled with delight and broke out into one of her rare smiles with the mere mention of her daughters name in 'The September Issue'. Her daughter's name is Bee Shaffer.

Saturday, 16 October 2010

I am involved in a freedom ride belonging to a few remaining earthbound stars. All we demanded was our right to twinkle- Marilyn Monroe

The theme for the next issue of Pugwash magazine is inspiration. Perfect. Plus as Features editor, me and my sub-eds are lucky enough to have the broadest topic to cover. Inspirational upbringings, jaw dropping gap years and Pompey's own alumni who've made it big are some topics floating around. I really can't wait to start reading some on the content that comes through.

Inspiration for me is a funny thing really. I never really associated myself with the word 'inspiration' or didn't even try to figure it out. Its just been in the past couple of years, where I've realised that for me inspiration was freedom. My freedom was creativity. Its a funny thing when the thoughts in your brain runs a million miles per hour. I have so much i want to do. Whilst on the computer typing away on this blog, i always look up at my noticeboard and feel inspired. Each image is different, yet represents me in a different way. J'adore

October's issue of Vogue has also proved to be very inspirational. The photography for me was to DIE FOR. The contrasts in the two main spreads was equisite. The environment is so geniusly captured in both editorials. In the first spread, model Iselin Steiro changes up her look dramatically for the Gothic rugged British countryside shot. The brooding aura and stormy backdrop prove to be heartwrenchingly brilliant work by our home grown photographer David Sims.

Photographer Laura Sciacovelli takes a different approach to using the environment in the following spread. A dainty desert breeze of a pictorial plays well with model Anna Jogodzinska's delicate features. The whole experience is something like a 60's American road trip, the type where you're running away from the world to find your own take on freedom. Its absolutely breathtaking. Very inspirational.


Saturday, 9 October 2010

'Be faithful to your roots' is the liberal version of 'Stay in your ghetto'- Mason Cooley

When I'm in the four walls of my room, i seem to forget what a rough area i live in. Fratton is not for the faint-hearted. I've lived here for a year before, but then i went home for summer to my little village-Cheam. I seemed to forget about the difficulty of living in a run down area- But in the past three weeks I've been rudely reminded of it.

I remember walking down the road and was approached by a rather daunting looking gang of 12 year old girls. My initial thought was 'great I'm gonna get beaten up and die today'. However, they swung their tight ponytails and told me ( not asked- they TOLD me) to go into the shop and get them alcohol. Internally shaking for my life, i told them i wouldn't. They gave me the dirtiest look that i thought someone of their age range could never be capable of and then looked me up and down and laughed. Just because i opted to wear skinnies instead of a baggy pair of grey trackies that's been in the wash far too many times. I laughed back at them.

Boys of the same age range are worse. 'Oi Matt, give me a fucking ciggy !!'....
'Fuck you Jack. Go home and screw Tess again why don't you!'......Charming. The school boy pre-pubescent screaming went on for ages. Along with that, I've had a guy walk past me, with about a metre separation space between us. He then made a lame effort to turn around, tap me on the shoulder and scream in my face 'you FUCKING CUNT-Get out of my fucking WAYYYY'. I walked off straight away. People coming up to you is a normal occurrence. I vividly remember last year an old woman with long grey hair and makeup down her face approach me and Katherine. She stared at us absolutely stoned and told us something terrible was going to happen that day. The whole day we lived on edge. It was terrible.

Just yesterday i saw a man miraculously jump out from a bush and start climbing a drainpipe to a flat. Ive gotten to the point when I'm just shrugging it off. I'm getting used to it all over again. In no way am I'm influenced by these weirdos. I have my own life and don't really feel the sudden urge to jump up in someones face and bring into question their whole personality and judge them by their appearance. I dunno- maybe that's just me. People in this town are on bloody drugs- i ain't one of them :)

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

Any idiot can face a crisis- it's day to day living that can wear you out - Anton Chekhov

My blog has been neglected for far too long and for people who know me- this is just not like me at all ! I guess Ive been rather busy/ stressing out/ totally tired.
Since the last blog posting of me moaning about failing my driving test, i spent a whole 2 days getting over it. After,i did my theory again ( cannot believe i let two years pass! ) and prrraiiise the lord, i passed. I found that pretty impressive as i spent a whole three days cramming from those two dinky DVLA books circa 2008. I refused to invest in a CD, which i had been advised to get by my driving instructor and a near and dear friend. Fuck that shit. The day of the test was another bonkfest of leaving late/ getting lost/ swerving, ducking and diving. My dad has probably got to be the worst driver i have ever met. God knows how he still has his license. Alas, the day came to a great ending ( ignoring the rather annoying 18 year old with the most unsmoothest chat up lines, who thought he could try his luck with me after comparing our scores. They were exactly the same. We were a match made in heaven according to him )

I also had to say my goodbyes to the London lot. I absolutely HATE going away from them and wish we could hang out more, but I'm always home at winter/summer/Easter, when they go away on holidays and stuff. So i don't get to see them as much as a girl needs to. I really do need them. They give me a humble grounding from the banter of Portsmouth. We talk about everything - life/boys/the future. Its simple, chilled out, over a coffee plus no make up. I crave it. I seem to get caught up in uni life so much that i seem to forget about the simpler things in life.

The simpler things in life are miles away from Portsmouth. By the time you get to your third and final year, the feeling of excitement doesn't linger anymore. In fact, this year i was probably quite unenthusiastic about going back. I guess i got used to being at home. I think I'm just over the initial excitement of coming back and mingling and partying. Not that i haven't enjoyed myself being back yet. Been out so much the past week and a half, that I'm currently sitting here exhausted! Its been a blast and i forgot the teeny weeny little fact that 'boyyyy do i know how to have fun or what???'. I never will stop having fun but that doesn't mean I'm a complete party animal. I never want to be known or remembered as a party animal. Sure i hate to be stereotyped as the typical Asian girl, but I'm pretty sure that just by meeting me and getting to know me, that I'm not your average little Asian girl :)

Here's to a brill third year :) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tuesday, 31 August 2010

I am a driving God- Richard Hammond

Thick kids usually pass their driving test on the first time, I've been told. Clever kids aren't as capable to drive, because they see everything in black and white. Its just the way their minds are programmed to function.
So where does that leave me? I'm not a future Oxbridge graduate whose intellectuality soars through my veins. Yet, I'd like to believe I'm not the thickest kid on the block.

I started off my driving test by trapping my seat belt in the car door.Smooth. Thankfully, the large unpleasant man was walking around to the other side of the car. In the meantime, i made the smooth James Bond-esque move to untrap the seat belt and close the door. The man got into the car,well more like squished and squeezed into the car, not to mention the pressure he exerted on his side of the vehicle. I would have appreciated a smile, just one- but that soon became obvious that smiles took a backseat in this particular middle aged gentleman's life. This realisation caused me to grip the steering wheel in complete terror. Never in my life had i been more petrified of being assessed. In fact i had always been one of those eerily calm ones, that didn't give a shit at all. Yet this donut lover had my sanity in his hands.

My driving instructor had initially made me practise on all the test routes in Morden, except one which had roadworks going on. Guess which one homie decided to take me on? We continued to drive along one way systems, around motorways, up steep hills, manoeuvring my little heart out and then we finally came to a screeching halt. 'Sorry' i murmured, as he huffed and puffed. 'You have failed' he mentioned in a cold monotone of a voice. Twat. The he preceded to tell me how i had upset him. Apparently, going up a steep hill paralleling the likes of Mount Everest, i was doing 20. The signs around me told me to keep doing 20. Therefore, i kept my speed at 20. I was happy doing 20. Hooray for 20. Unfortunately not. It appeared that Fat Boy Slim thought i could have gone a bit faster, and in his mushy little mind made up a scenario that other cars behind me were swerving into side roads because they didn't want to be stuck behind me. The logistical reason that they wanted to go the other way anyways didn't really hold a strong argument with him.

He presented me my green paper full of little marks like i had obtained a degree. Mumbled something about going to find my driving instructor and then left me. He left me there in the car with the pouring sunshine, nursing a cold sweat and feeling dazed and confused. I sat there thinking how i was probably the unluckiest girl in the world for having this examiner. Also i really hadn't done that bad. Plus also wasn't he meant to go get my driving instructor who was waiting in the car park? as i watched him saunter bank into the driving centre. Double twat. Jane my lovely instructor arrived ten minutes later, furious she hadn't been called. Welcome to my world i thought. I had been driving around this arrogant truck loader for the past 40 minutes and he dint even have the decency to say thank you.

I felt a bit down obviously- who wouldn't. I guess it really showed later on in the gym. I sat on the PowerPlate with the inability to do anything. One of the personal trainers came up and asked me what was wrong. I told her my story full of all the twists and turns. She listened attentively. Then she mentioned to me ' Darling you're not the only one. Two girls came in this morning after they had failed their tests in Morden too. Must have been the same instructor not having a brilliant day'. Damn right. It probably was him. Didn't quite catch his name. Triple twat.

Thursday, 26 August 2010

The last time i saw a walk like that was in Jurassic Park- Miss Congeniality (2000)

Some woman are physically repulsed at the idea of parading around in a bikini and dropping in jewels during the evening gown competition- But i want to take this chance to congratulate the newly crowned Miss.Universe- Jimena Navarette of Mexico. She was one of my sentimental favourites from the beginning along with Miss.USA ( bringing in some Asian flair. I also thought Great Britain had a gorgeous entry- Tara Hoyos-Martinez, but the competition was so stiff, many beauties got left out in the dust.

Many people believe that pageants are going against everything feminists have fought for. I disagree. First of all woman get to 'choose' if they want to participate in a pageant- and especially in these national pageants, courageous young woman are representing their countries in a poised and elegant manner. A lot of responsibility if you ask me. Once you win, it isn't all plain sailing in glamorous photo shoots and media calls, but sincere and crucial charity work.

The beautiful Jimena of Mexico now has a full time job and I'm sure will do her best in handling the year with grace. Its not the easiest thing with a recent example being Oxana of Russia who was crowned Miss.Universe in 2001. However she was unable to handle the busy schedule and therefore was replaced by her first runner up, Justine of Panama.
Nobody seems to say anything about the world of 'Page 3' and 'Glamour' models, yet one easily criticizes a 'pageant', even though these organisations bring in positive changes and are enriched with divine history.

Well done Jimena :)

Saturday, 14 August 2010

The creation continues incessantly through the media of man- Antonio Gaudi

Spain is almost a second home to me. Since being young i have visited the heavenly beach nation far too many times to count, almost to a point where i got slightly bored of the never ending shorelines and the aura of boozy chilling and finely tuned bodies. I was certain about having the same experience in Barcelona. However, i was in for a surprise.

Barcelona, still being true to its roots has the flowy beaches and hot hanging out hotspots- but it seemed to be slightly more stoic in nature. The gorgeous little package of a city has all the components of a dream holiday, and when unwrapping the ribbon on top, a labyrinth of museums and architecture shows way to a rich history.

La Sagrada Famille was an absolute equisite surprise. The legacy that Gaudi has left behind has prompted one of the most fascinating architectural mission, with modern day architects hoping to finish his work more than over a hundred years later. The painstaking procedure must be something in which the locals take great pride in. The final product will be a must see.

Also to my brothers dire enjoyment was the tour of the Barcelona football stadium. Even though not being much of a football fan, i decided to give him company, and was in awe. The stadium was beautiful and my main point of awe - the changing rooms ! Looked like something out of The Jetsons! Definitely bagging the cool points for future conversations !

Along with that, the gorgeous dusky aura of Port Olympic was a beautiful unwinding experience and the shopping is to die for. Also, i think i may have found a city with the most beautiful people on Earth ! What strikes me most about the distinctiveness of Barcelona is that unlike the other Spanish cities, that thrive on friendly group banter, Barcelona is a romantic haven. Its basically the Paris of Spain:)

Sunday, 25 July 2010

Writing is a socially acceptable form of Schizophrenia

Well, uni memories of my second year seems to be moulding into distant memories. I've gotten used to being at home now. For the past month, I've been keeping busy in an array of weddings, family meetings, gym and most notably the graduation of my older brother. I've got another two months at home and with a holiday in the works, I'm sure i will be continuing in having an amazing time before i flee back to Portsmouth for my final year.

I've also been lucky enough to contribute and write for this years 'Pompey Guide', in which i have written not one, but two articles on the shopping prospects in Portsmouth. Keeping myself busy in terms of writing, i have also entered the 'Six Word Story Competition' run by the well renowned Arvon Foundation. Trying to enter a competition which only required six words, was more than a challenge but i finally managed to come up with a perfect story. I find writing an absolute gift for me personally and if other writing competitions come my way, i will definitely enter. Not just for the satisfaction of winning, but for the satisfaction of learning and growing as a writer.

Friday, 11 June 2010

Its never over till its over

So i spent the whole day trying to pack up my belongings. Tomorrow afternoon i swiftly move out of the house I've been living in since October and head back home to Surrey.

I feel awful packing away my room, and i think that this is because in some way i have 'created' my room. My room back home is a gorgeous light pink fantasy room, but in a way its untouchable. My mother has a habit of making sure everything is clean and spotless, and her extreme cleanoholic OCD tendencies makes it impossible to do anything i want with my room. So much as a pencil that ends up lying on the desk, has to be moved away into its 'correct' position. Growing up that never bothered me because i didn't know any better- but living where i have been for the past couple months has given me great pride in knowing what i like and what i don't. I can come into my room and kick off my shoes in different directions, to wake up finding that there still lying in the same awkward position in which i left them in. I can decorate my walls in magazine cut outs and pictures that mean a lot to me. I can also laugh at myself when i continually walk into my room and trip up over my hair straightners lying on the ground.

All in all, it'll be sad going away for the summer. I'm going to miss the people I've met here so much and my second year has been a blast. I know its only my luck, but i end up meeting the most incredible people right at the end. I know i will meet them again but 4 months seems like an eternity- But I'm rearing to go. Gotta keep myself busy this summer. I don't want to take all the fun out of summer- after all summer is the time that people look forward to all year around. Got to take some risks and i don't want to stop being the crazy psycho i am just because I'm at home with the parents.

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Open up to a page in my life :)

I keep a portfolio which reviews the latest magazines i have read. These are my first two entries of Company and Womens Fitness- both May editions :)
I just write about what i support in the articles and what really means a lot to me. I'm scrapbooking my little heart away about things that inspire moi:) I want to end up showing the completed portfolio to some VERY influential people.....anna wintour?...nah she'll eat me up alive! :P

Wednesday, 26 May 2010

80% of your final exam will be based on that one lecture you missed :)

I tend to watch people in disbelief when they pull out a neatly organised calibre of notes from the bag and whine, wail, complain and go through all the stages of a schizophrenic attack to revise for an exam....an exam that will not take place for another two months.

I guess there's nothing really wrong with that- can't really argue with people who want to do well. Its just that i have a rather altered viewpoint when it comes to revising for exams. I'm one of those unfortunate few that realises i have an exam to sit the day before or on the actual day. I begin to write notes, but then get sidetracked at the hands of facebook, youtube, food (i cannot even begin to tell you how much of an addict i am to halloumi cheese at the moment) etc. After the immense 2hours of getting sidetracked, i decide to close my computer to avoid any Internet based stimuli that might catch my engrossment. This process then involves holding my notes in my hands, whilst I'm yawning and stretching on my bed in the midst of an unusual daydream (preferably about halloumi cheese).

At that point its wise to give up. The next excruciating morning involves a solid hour of cramming a terms worth of work into my brain, and then on the walk to the exam trying to memorise stuff from my scruffy notes, at the expense of nearly getting killed by cars because I'm not looking :/ o well. To be honest, I've never been one of those people who freaks out over exams. I'm usually calm and content up to the very moment the papers are placed in front of me. Heck i even went out the night before. I don't accept anything-success or failure. I'm neutral.

However, you think revising for the exams is the worst part? Its a completely different story when you get to the exam hall. First, its a complete and utter mission to find your desk. You end up looking like a complete and utter spaz with your neck tilted sideways in the hopes of finding your name. I nearly even came to the conclusion that i was in the wrong exam as it took me forever to find my desk, only to realise that i had wandered off to the straight Psychology side of the room. 'Combined Honours Psychology is on that side' whispered the old lady who had been watching me walk up and down for 5 minutes, shaking her head with pity and a sympathetic smile plastered across her face.

Once you get going, you realise its meant to be silent, but in all do reality its really not. There's a handful of regulars. The person who coughs, usually sitting on the other side of the hall, yet their echos bounce drastically off the walls. Then its the die hard blonde party girl, who seems to have a cold, sniffing away preferably right behind you- great. Then its the guy in the other row, who gave up within the first 5 minutes, with his head collapsed in his hands. I feel for him. Lastly, the person who continuously looks around the room like an idiot - that person tends to be me :) Also, i had the funny feeling that our weird long haired lecturer kept staring at me. Maybe it was just my mind playing cruel tricks on me?

All in all, the first breath of air never tasted so good when i walked out of the stuffy gym hall. I laughed about the exam with my friend, whilst listening in to the multiple choice question disasters from the people behind me.......lol. I went home and slept.

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

The proper basis for marriage is a mutual misunderstanding :)

It's probably the most distressing situation which i have to go through a couple times a year, with the bulk of it being in the summer. It's like an alien invasion has come to planet Earth turning my nearest and dearest into psycho's and zapping out the light behind their eyes. Its those ghastly weddings that we have some sort of untalked about obligation to grace our presence with. My o my what a nightmare those turn out to be.

It would be okay if they were a bit different every time i went- but nope. The drama starts weeks before, when my mum bursts into my room (without knocking may i add?? God knows what i could be doing in there ;P) and starts screaming at the top of her lungs. By the genuine panic in her voice and the hysteria in which her arms are flapping you would think a family member nabbed themselves a spot in hospital- Oh no...the truth of the matter is she needs to help me find a downright perfect outfit to wear for the next wedding....after all we haven't seen Auntie Sheila since the last family feud two years ago, so my mother needs to make sure that all her children look absolutely immaculate to show that her constant years of bitching about Auntie Sheila haven't in fact, taken a toll on our reputation. Also, Auntie Ruby's daughter has just been accepted on to do medicine at university- for me..an Asian girl who has not forayed into the field of blood and guts, image is CRUCIAL.

Once you get to the wedding, there are rules. Who I'm allowed to talk to and who I'm not. Stay away from the alcoholic uncle and go talk to that women...she looks like she's rich. We don't even need to talk about Auntie Sheila and who gives a shit about getting into med school...i look way better than the highest able and brainy cousin. With snobbery written all over her face I'll give it a pass.

You have to sort of give way to the tension, plaster a fake smile across your face and go and meet relatives you never knew existed. What really gets me annoyed and threatens to alter my smile into a frown (I'm surprised people haven't asked me about my face twitching fits yet) is when you try to be honourable and greet an elderly lady you've never met. You say hi, she makes the excruciating effort to get up and pat you on the head. The hairdo which you have worked on for the past three hours has been ruined.

You would think that's it right? Well combining the painful dance sequences that we have the greatest opportunity to witness via 12 year old girls on the brink of puberty, along with the god awful food ( not a fan of Asian cuisine, i only eat my mum's rice), along with the crowds of people which causes me to believe i will faint at least 4 times in a night, along with the horrifically late entrance of the bride (you just really want to get it over and done with ) it really makes for a mind boggling frame of mind.

I guess that what I'll have to get used to. I'm getting older, people will be expecting me to be a bit more enthusiastic with these weddings and maybe even show people I'm not a cold hearted bitch and that i do indeed possess the unique talent of smiling. Who knows, my mum might start talking to Auntie Sheila again and my cousin might just fail a year. However for the meantime, I'm cool with the role of being the anti-social girl, sitting in the corner, tugging at my uncomfortable clothes and wishing the creepy guy on the other table could quit staring. Seriously, in his dreams...

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Love is Blind....Friendship on the other hand tends not to notice

First and foremost this blog entry is dedicated to my beloved Ploy Howell....who always asks me eagerly when I'm writing my next blog..'you have a way with words' as she puts it haha....thanks for the dedication haha love you.

This then inspired me to write a piece on attempting to keep in touch with old friends. I don't know about you but i have been to many different school in my life...and whenever I'm leaving there's always the massive teary eyed fiasco.....old friend -'I'll call you everyday!! I promise!!'......me - 'you better otherwise I'll freaken come back and stalk you biatcchhh !!'......'haha DEAL....OMFreakinGod I'm going to miss you like crazy. I love you to bits !!!'........True to form, the first excruciating week without your partner in crime does result in a lot of texts and fb stalking to see if some other excuse of a human being has replaced you. However, the endless commenting and liking of your status then distorts to the odd comment every 5months. Throughout my life it's been a vicious cycle, but I've been lucky with my old school...good ol' Sutton High. Every Easter or summer there seems to be some type of a 'catch up'. We all drastically alter our hectic ( or unhectic ) lives to fit in a chat and a good lil giggle with our former peers.

I'm the first one to admit....I'm needy and lovingly put- an attention seeking nuisance of an individual. For me, feeling loved is the ability to recount countless tales with old friends about stupid and annoying things i used to do back in the day. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, knowing that other people also remember certain events...and that i wasn't going crazy hallucinating these epic life moments in my cognitive functioning.

I can still sit there and laugh at my times at Sutton High. Especially the time, when i placed a half naked picture of an extremely aggravating Indian actor who held a coke can to his crotch, in the 'pigeon hole' of a deeply religious girl who was ridiculously agitated. I was labelled 'immature'. Harsh. Oh and also the time, when me and my friend convinced a fellow accomplice of ours to take that same girl down to the gym ( that gym should not be called a 'gym'...i don't think a trampoline accounts for much) and convince her she was a lesbian and that she had a crush on her. This turned out to be hilarious, as me and my associates hid in the neighbouring room and trying to unsuccessfully conceal ourselves whilst dissolving into fits of laughter. WOW i sound like a bully...but i can assure you it was all harmless fun and games at the time...and plus that girl didn't seem to have any side effects...i think.

On the other hand, i always love to recount countless tales of our beloved teachers. Mrs. Crouch who proudly announced to my parents at Year 11 parents evening, that i would fail Biology. My ASIAN parents were mortified at the thought of probably the first asian girl in history to ever fail a science exam. I wanted to shove the A down Crouch's throat a couple months later. Also, Mr.Fenlon my best friend who always seemed to catch me talking and no one else. Seriously NO ONE ELSE- just me. Boy that was fun getting told to hush up the average of 5 times in the span of half an hour. From that extreme, to Mrs. Ward...who i never really felt comfortable with...so whenever she was around i never seemed to say anything to her. She thought i was 'painfully shy'.....until that one day when she stared at me in complete shock and horror when she saw me yapping away ferociously to one of my friends. I didn't realise she was watching...

Point is, keep in touch with the oldies !! Sure it's effort, but it's all worth it. Its not all hunky dory though! I always try my best to meet up and stay in touch with everyone...but theres a couple people who've slipped through the cracks. Theres a lot of reasons for that with the most crucial being that people change. I just know that right now I'm currently having the best time with the newest 'crop' of friends at university- But i don't want them to just be friends...you can meet anyone on the street, say hi and become friends....i want them to stay my 'partners in crime' FOREVER. There my accessories when i go out and vice versa- and you know what? Its gonna stay that way till Doomsday :)

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Life is a Zoo in a Jungle :)

Right SO, i am now on the 2010/2011 Pugwash magazine team as the new Life and Style Editor :) YAY ME :) !

I have to admit i was terribly unprepared for the speech that i had to give, so much so i could actually feel myself shaking. It was kinda weird as, i standing in front of a large audience and saying something isn't really a MAIN fear of mine- but i guess i was just a bit overwhelmed and didn't realise i had to do a speech, so mentally trying to prepare one with a couple minutes to spare, was probably and evidently not the greatest prep.

Alas, i did turn out to get the role i was running for- But i wondered if i could have prepared a speech and had all the time in the world to say it- what would i say?
Hmmm well

'Howdie everyone. Vote for me as your new life and style editor because i can assure you i can do the role justice- and how u may ask? Well I'm pretty familiar with life. I've got a lot out of it recently. You may or may not know this but I'm a 20 year old student ploughing my way deeper and deeper in debt. Whilst preparing this speech at home, i had 2 twenty p coins, an empty hot chocolate mug, an endless stack of Company magazine, a credit card in tatters, a light bulb I've been meaning to screw in 2 months ago ( the only light that i currently have half heartedly glaring at me is a dim side table lamp) and the existence of a grand total of 0 uni books eyeballing back at me. Therefore with these extensive and monumental achievements under my belt, i am more than qualified to write for you guys in terms of 'life'.

'Style' on the other hand is the equivalent of a hundred different sensations in my head. From discreetly and confidentially being attracted to Little J a.k.a Taylor Momsen sense of style ( no matter how rude i find her in interviews) to preferring the dressed down, 'old Scottish lady with a cat' attire over the complete horror story of a makeover SuBo seems to be receiving- i don't really want to see a 'million dollar smile' ....on her. Eek. Also i pretty much hate the new trend of Aztec print ( i don't live in the Brazilian rain forest ), yet i pretty much treasure my sporty converse heels with my life (fitness shoes that you don't have to wear in the gym??!) I'm a tryer- I'll try a new trend for the sake of it and I'll be open because i want a Oscar Red Carpet-esque debate. Therefore, this pretty much sums up the reasons why i want to be the voice of materialistic reason for you :)

More of me to come in the future. Keep those eyes and ears peeled :)Kudos Love

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

The Extention of a Middle Eastern Holiday

People flock to Dubai nowadays. The sun, the sand, the atmosphere- its a gorgeous sky scraping paradise. The popularity of it has just taken off in the past few years, but before that when the indulgent buildings and mega million pound compounds were coming into play, i never really thought anything of it. When i thought Dubai, all i would think about was the desert and possibly a camel or two. So you can probably imagine my shock, when my parents came back to a little 12 yeared old me, after a 'business trip' in Dubai and announced that we would be packing our bags and moving there in the upcoming summer.

My mum 'wanted a change' as she put it. There was no sense of inspiration and happiness in England. She wanted us to move there and experience a new and safer way of living and get more in touch with our religious Islamic roots. Almost immediately, i pictured myself riding a camel to school, dressed in a burka and struggling to see. My mum saw my anguish and sat me down and told me it would be fine and that Dubai has jumped leaps and bounds from my prehistoric imagination. I would enjoy myself, make friends and lead a new and fulfilling life. Being so young, i didn't really have time to argue my case. Without my dad ( who had to stay in England for his business), we spent that summer packing and moving our whole lives across the Arabian sea into Dubai and unpacking.

The shock of this sudden move became more evident for me and a bit frightening, when i first stepped foot of the place. My glasses steamed up from the humidity in a second flat. I was left wiping my glasses down, whilst processing the palm trees lining the airport and the thick musky scent of the locals. My brain was bombarded with new visuals, new people and a new environment. Me, my mum and my two brothers spent the first week of our move living in a dull,gravely inspired 2 bedroom apartment. I remember waking up on my second day and collapsing in the loo. The heat had gotten too much for me and an ambulance was called. It was scary, but i learnt from it. Finally we moved into the gorgeous Al-Attar Tower on the crazy Sheikh Zayed Road ( known for having the most road accidents in the world !!)My new life had officially began.

The question is did i love living there? Of course- because not many people can say that the apartment they lived in was a green and gold architectural luxury. They also can't say that they were chauffeur driven every morning to school, or that their tight group of friends included Canadians, Australians, South Africans and Koreans. Many people also can't say that on their 'school field trip', they drove through a vast and spectacular amount of never ending mountains to remote deserted beaches.Instead of hanging out at the movies every weekend, many people don't really hang out at water theme parks. They also couldn't say that they lived a life of pure luxury on a genuinely average family income. And most certainly they also couldn't wake up to sandstorms and mention that it had only rained once in a period of two years.

Looking back i was blessed to be given this opportunity to live and be part of such an extreme lifestyle, which compared so differently to that of Britain. Of course there were a few downers. Waking up the sun beating down your back and coming home to it not ready to let go, became a bit of a nuisance. Sure i love sunshine, but the UAE took it a tad bit too far. Also, Thursdays and Fridays were our weekend. Saturday we were back at school. It messed up my conditioned weekly timetable. Its something that i or any other Brit would never get used to- And although religion was never really SHOVED down my throat by Dubai, we had to sit through painful Arabic lessons as one of our 'core' languages alongside French. So much as drop a ruler by accident, and the delightfully strict Dr.Musa would send you to the 'corner'. Many a times i had to stand there for an hour with my head facing the noticeboard full of pictures of smiling students. In a funny way, it became a bit of a game, to see who could get sent to the corner the most.

Life was drastically fun, yet the distance between us and my dad got a bit too much. Plus the cost of living in Dubai began escalating along with its business prospects. We arrived back to England in the summer of 2004. Sure enough i missed my global friends, and the thought of walking out barefoot on the sparkling roads, and where my favourite past time was desert safari's, but it was that 'smell' of England, that slapped me back to reality. This time when i stepped off the plane in England, my glasses steamed up but this time it was due to the cold.......in the middle of June. I smiled and thought to myself 'Welcome back'. Now, its back to hanging out at the cinema on the weekends !! :)

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

A Weighty Issue

Growing up, I've always heard the words: 'there's nothing there. Nothing behind her eyes. A blank personality. An emptiness to her aura'.

To the people who know me closely now, and the people i continue to meet, that might seem like somewhat of a shock. I pride myself on being a 'ball of emotions' now and take great pride in striking up a conversation with new people. It seems natural now, but it never did. The relationship i used to have with myself never permitted me in being open, which is another world away from today. Nowadays, i might as well stand up on top of a building and yell out how i truly feel with all my might. Some may even argue that I'm too open- But i don't care. I'm loving my new found freedom. It gives me chills to think i can feel this way, but all this came with a lot of help. From a lot of strangers that i will never forget.

Two years ago, i was at my ends wits. What people thought of me was probably true. I didn't want to talk to anyone really and the only emotion i showed was evident anger. It would never really be anyone else's fault. I would just get frustrated with myself, which catapulted into anger if someone even so much as even looked in my direction. The main root of this tension was my dire self esteem issues. I was an overweight teenager and had always been my whole entire life. As a child, other children would always look at me negatively, fishing out ways to get under my skin- with my appearance as their main point of call. Rolls of fat didn't seem to gel well with miniature girls parading around in figure hugging jeans and skimpy tops. They looked flawless and in some sense accomplished. Their self esteem issues never held them back, and whilst they were out pursuing the world of gifted extra curricular, i would be hidden inside, in mounds of baggy jumpers and my trusted bulky coat. In my late teens, i think i just came to the conclusion that i would be this way for the rest of my life. My weight was a problem for me, it may have been a light hearted joke for every one else - but for me it was my biggest enemy.

Push came to shove and i realised i didn't want to intrude into my future at university with the same sense of insecurity that i almost became accustomed to living with my whole entire life. Wishful thinking led me on to applying for a summer at 'Wellspring Camp'. A weight loss camp in New York for girls my age. The initial shame of spending a desperate summer, kept me from telling anyone apart from 2 close friends. I couldn't face the ridicule that i had dreamed up in my head. Little did i know that this was going to be one of the best experiences of my life.

During the next month, i had built a support system( my group at camp in the picture above). Getting up at stupid times for early walks was regular routine, nature was my new best friend, climbing mountains got my motivation wondering, and a couple of injuries along the way were not a big deal. Excessive counselling along the way, made me realise how stupid i was not to talk about my feelings before. I felt better, like a weight had been lifted off of me, even if it was after talking to a stranger. Life seemed pleasant for the first time and the weight began to shed off. Saying goodbye to the lifestyle that my health considered luxurious was probably the most devastating thing i ever had to face. I remember boarding the connecting flight from Burlington, Vermont to JFK, NY and crying. I tried hard to make sure no one noticed, as it was dark and people were trying to rest, yet the businessman next to me put down his newspaper and handed me a tissue. He didn't say a word to me, because he knew that he wouldn't be able to understand my turmoil. Instead, he smiled and tapped me on the shoulder. The tap seemed to tap into my soul, a bit like a voice saying 'Get with it soldier. You have the rest of your life to think about.' That was probably the longest plane journey i had. A lot of realisations were hit upon.

Two years later and I've made immense progress in what I've always wanted to become. From a point of some people seriously telling me to consider 'anger management' ( i know!! ) to a peaceful sense of living. I like to go out and laugh and have fun. I'm nice to everyone, even if people out there take that opportunity to walk all over me. I know their doing it, but in a way its their loss. I'm a good person and I'm usually always willing to do whatever it takes to put a smile on peoples face. Life isn't so serious anymore, yet i have the positive energy to think about my future. My life is going places. My frustrations may have been replaced by my weirdness- I'm sooo open now that i usually bite off more than i can chew. I say weird things, at weird times, but that's they beauty of being free.

Its not all happy times though. I do sometimes get anxious when i go out in daylight. I don't feel as loose as i do at night, but the social setting is different. I feel like people are always staring at me and picking out flaws, but that's probably due to the insecurities that replay in mind every now and then from my childhood. There are certain things and moments that will forever haunt me. However, its fine, i have no intention of being 100% perfect. I'm glad i polished up my act, and now I'd rather have people dislike me for being unusual or too forward, rather than miserable and distressed.

Now people have no right to look at me square in the eye and say theres 'nothing there'. Everything is there. Just make the effort to get to know me.

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

Bat for Lashes

Growing up and being blessed with an array of fluttery lashes, I know only too well of the confidence that can come from the narrow ‘pointy things’ that stick out from the bottom of the eyelid. The eyes have always been legendary in nabbing someone’s attention. Attractions can be formed just because that certain somebody has that ‘twinkle’ in their eye.

For girls who already seem to have themselves working wonders in the sight department, mascara always is the best option. For me, it’s the classic mascara, Maybelline Colossal, which has won over British hearts by our fine young ladies voting it the no. 1 mascara. I personally love the drama and the elongation it provides, whilst bringing out your natural eye colour. For a fiercer look, I recommend companies such as Clinique and The Body Shop for their new unique range.

However, to really go all out, fake eyelashes are ALL the rage. I’m not much of a fan of that over the top dramatic, glittery, sparkly, disaster of a pair of lashes. What you need, is a gorgeous natural pair of lashes; natural curves give you that much needed definition. Just do your research before you spontaneously end up buying a pair. Sometimes the application glue can cause a melt down before a wild night out. After trying a few myself, Girls Aloud’s Eylure range seem to do the best. All five girls have their own unique designs- something to suit everyone’s tastes. Also, the best thing about them? They look natural for it even to be acceptable for day wear. The glue actually functions unlike other brands and application is probably one of the easiest things I’ve ever done. My personal favourite? NICOLA’S!!

Tuesday, 30 March 2010

A curious love of green

My friend Katherine had the opportunity to 'bring a friend' with her at a free makeup session with Benefit at Debenhams. I of course, jumped at the chance. I wanted to see what they could offer and believe it or not i had only once used their mascara ages ago- that had been replaced by the maybelline collosal. My foundation and concealer kit was a clinique bypass and the colours on my face, represented by the blusher and eyeshadows were No.7- so therefore i was quite excited at the thought of trying something new.

Katherine is so much different than me in terms of beauty and makeup. She uses very subtle makeup that suits her pale English skin. Me, on the other hand, having Asian skin with olive undertones, i am a bit more free to experiment with makeup. I go all out with the black/purple smoky eyes and the plump hot pink lips. My lipstick is especially very important to me as its my security blanket. The makeup artist then ended up giving Katherine smokey eyes and a pink blusher fix, which i usually rock. She then looked at me- she came to the decision, rather apprehensively, that she wanted to use green on my eyes. As i was open to bright colours, i was rather excited to get going, although i was secretly fretting that she would end up making me look like a clown. And voila !! (Below) it turned out perfectly and rather surprisingly amazing. The makeup artist seemed rather stunned and mentioned she had never seen anyone suit green so much. Modestly, i mentioned that maybe she should use it more on other people- in different quantities and shades as everyone is different.

Green is a new colour that seems to be hitting the catwalks in subtle hints. This indicates that many people are still scared of using green as a full cover on their lids. It may not be a versatile colour, but the colour green has amazing pigments stored within it. Even, below these models in the Nicole Farhi and Derek Lan S/S 2010 collections, have a slick of green under their eyes. Both are different shades, yet both add a touch of intrigue and a sense of refreshment to the eyes. It makes the the eyes look larger and adds a bit of sparkle.

I say GO FOR GREEN :) There is a huge BUT though. It takes skill to apply a green shadow. If your a newcomer to the wonderful world of green, then do what i did. Go and have a free makeup trial at a counter at Debenhams and ask for the perfect green to match you skin colour. You have to be aware- if you get green wrong , you can get it SO WRONG!! However, if you get it right, you can get it SOOO RIGHT:) Go on give it a brave try ;)

Friday, 19 March 2010

Its not what you know- but who you know

Heels clicking along the panels of the hollow flooring, figures in crisp cut suits walking by and a flock of people gathering at the one-man champagne bar- the night was intricately on its way. Walking into a modest yet surprisingly airy room, I personally couldn't have been more drawn to the sophisticated labyrinth of chandeliers, the mirrors which mirrored the other walls and the elongated windows giving us the never ending glance of the hectic pace of a little community called Soho.

Its an exciting place to be. Excitingly daunting. I had always been told 'networking' was the key to being successful. After all , Johan Arndt once said that 'informal conversation is probably the oldest mechanism by which opinions on products and brands are developed, expressed and spread'. The London Press Club were the people we cruised in to join and mingled efficiently with the people from various aspects of the journalism industry. For an outsider, it may have seemed rather perplexing that in the hours leading up the event, we were rushing around our rooms throwing clothes in the sheer confusion of what was going to be deemed appropriate to wear, fidgeting uncomfortably and having baffling conversations about our lives and loves in a tiresome two hour coach journey, running frantic marathons down the gut wrenching spine chilling London underground, having a frenzied apparel switch in the Spoons loo with a slick of lipstick and the throwing on of the heels.

Still, electrifying smiles accompanied our faces and we were given the honour of listening to a speech by a consumer journalist, Martin Lewis - 'The Money Man', which he says sits rather uncomfortably with him. Personally for me, that's him just being modest. Lewis has made a huge name for himself. By starting out as a broadcaster by training, he went on to create the biggest consumer and personal finance site in the UK with approximately 8 million users in the UK. Along with his background and an attentive Q and A round, we were free to set off and unite with the other guests.

For me, it was a brilliant opportunity to listen to the advice which was given. One of the best pieces of advice as a budding fashion journalist looking for a summer internship, was that instead of sending my CV out mindlessly to magazines, i should send in pieces of my written work. With examples of my work given in, i should then ask for what they think and how i could make further improvements. Chances are that only one out of ten magazines will bother responding, but you never know - they could be so impressed with your work that they could offer you some further work. For me, i thought that was absolutely brilliant as i have been trying so hard since December to find a valuable summer placement, with no luck. A change in my approach may be the best way forward, with summer fast approaching.

I also got a chance to meet a pretty young lady called 'Kate' from Cherry PR. I was particularly pleased talking to her, as she had started out in the same route as me. She has started to do Sociology at university with the hope of getting into fashion journalism like me. Unfortunately, she didn't get the opportunities she needed to make a career out of it, so switched to the neighbouring profession of Fashion PR. She told me to get work not just in magazines, but with celebrity agents and fashion pr agents. With me its just a case of cracking again with my CV and search for work. I am a determined young girl ! Even if i sent out more than a hundred letters out, i just want that one place to give me a chance and I'm sure I'll be on my way. With that, i also had a pleasure to meeting Jaime Concha from thefirstpint.co.uk. His website focuses on international students living in Britain, and i will be getting in contact with him for maybe doing something about international fashion trends in London.

All in all, i have an extravagant time networking as a first timer and would definitely like to try it again. I walked away with some contacts and my friends did too. I'm ready to get working !!

Monday, 15 March 2010

A Magazinal Crush

I wake up to this noticeboard everyday- and LOVE IT ! Since being a young girl, i've taken immense pleasure at flicking through magazines- even if it was Sugar magazine back then !! However, it wasn't until recently that i started taking more interest in the visual backdrops, the artistically graphic ad campaigns, the whats hot/whats not section and the immaculate knowledge of the fashionista style literature. Nowadays i have swiftly moved on to the jam packed womans magazines going by the names of Glamour and Company- also a few elitist magazines such as Harpers Bazaar and Vogue sit gracefully in my collection!

The reason i love reading Glamour magazine over other 'celebrity' magazines- is because i get a wealth of knowledge, that i can personally choose to distinguish whether i like it by myself. I don't want to read stories or look at images that are completely fabricated, with no real research thrown in. I look deeper and feel the need to see out the full spectrum. For example, the new sensation of 'aztec prints' may not be caught dead in my wardrobe, but i like to see what other people are doing differently with this current trend. Variety fascinates me. Real women's opinions and creativity sparks my interest. Book reviews and real lifes with that teeny bit of celebrity gossip thrown in, gives it that well rounded edge that holds my attention.
Magazines such as Harpers Bazaar are strictly a fantasy for me. Many would complain that there are way too many ads and not enough content to hold their interest. Me, on the other hand would disagree. I pretty much immerse myself with complete dignity into the fantasy that is created by these never ending ads. These publications aren't for the faint hearted and not everyone would be able to understand the content. The research in these magazines are impeccable and the presentation is polished. Icons are used to sell these magazines and credit wheres it due is astounding.
For a person being so culturally obsessed with these various magazines, some may worry that i would take things literally. I know the size zero/skinny model debate has been rinsed to the core, yet many would wonder whether i would be affected by it. Yet again, this goes back to my theory that i can choose what information i want to process. I by no means am a naturally skinny girl. I have natural curves and i have cellulite- HECK i even battled with my weight for most of my life- but i was fortunate enough to go through a stage where i was given crucial guidance on healthy eating and fitness. From going to a couch potato to give me a frikken marathon to run and i'll train and run harder than i have ever run in my life. That's my view on this classic debate. For me, i look at magazines to see the way the model carries the clothes, how the cut of the clothes is appealing and NOT how much more weight i need to lose to look like that beautiful human being staring back at me!

Saturday, 6 March 2010

The Rise and Fall of Being a Woman :)

Being feminine has been twisted into a lot of contrasting definitions over the years. Nowadays we have an array of sub cultures which are a far cry from what 'womanly fashion' used to be defined as. Rewind back to the 1960's- mini skirts, pinafores and knits were all the rage. Women used to take pride in the elegance of getting ready in the morning. Fashion was exciting, however preferably not as exciting as it is today. Coco Chanel was an avid person who challenged the concept of designers creating unladylike fashion and some of her most memorable quotes included 'fashion is to be made unfashionable' and 'elegance is refusal'. Nowadays alternative fashion genres have challenged the overwhelming simplicity that Coco once fought for. Gothic fashion has become a deeper sense for an individual to escape to. Peoples thoughts and feelings are reflected on the way they dress and they have no problem in hiding it. Also, in recent years haute couture on runways have been a source for the ever increasing tailoring and lifestyle of androgyny. Giorgio Armani and Pierre Cardin have been major contributors in this rise and alongside major role models like model Agyness Deyn, many young women are taking this testosteronic plunge.
For me however, i admire the way fashion has become very personal and individualistic- But i say lets go back to the basics ! - And no i dont mean wearing a £1 vest from Primark ( although you'd be surprised by how much you can do with it ! ) I mean lets go back to the modest innocence of being feminine and almost doll like. With all thats available out there now, everyone can add their own touch on this idea of being a woman.


Tuesday, 2 February 2010

A Super Study Party in the Library @ 3.30

I have exam on Thursday....for most people that means hardcore revision back to back...eat, sleep, breathing all the material they need to stuff their brains with in order to assure some sort of decent mark.....or for the really studious ones between us......FULL MARKS. However, for me revision involves a lot of thought about WHEN i'm actually going to study, deciding on what topics i'm going to revise...oooo American Idol/ The Biggest Loser are on.....what i'm gonna have for dinner.....oogling over your favourite celebrity on google images.....and then back to OH SHIT REYVEYSION :( .......in the process of all that i tend to make the following faces too......the i'm so innocent and tired ( do not disturb me ) face and then the all too famous arghhhhhh everything is going wrong- frikken go away everyone !!!!!
Don't get me wrong- i like to learn new things - thats one of the reasons why i chose to came to university. I'm not ready enough or mentally equipped enough to be thrown out into the big bad world of work. I also believe to really have your dream job you need as many qualifications as you can possibly gain- that's why i believe strongly in going to university and not leaving school at just 18 or even 16. Unfortunately, i havent been blessed with amazing cognitive skills and therefore whatever i need to revise for and try for i need to work twice as hard than people who literally 'have it in the bag.' Its not fair...i try really hard and yet sometimes i always end up being that average student. I guess my faults in that department lie in me being a creative individual....sitting in in front of a computer screen for hours on end writing an essay or staring blankly at a few pieces of paper revising for an exam, arent really my fortay. Many people have said to me before that i 'seem' or 'look' intelligent- that coming from me being 'asian'. True enough i can't really blame that....seems like most of the asians in Portsmouth are on some sort of boffting pharmacy or science course that i can't really seem to comprehend. I look at myself as there being an anomaly in every research- i am that stubborn anomaly.
Realising that i had to do something quickly in order to process this information that i probably would never need to know after Thursday morning, i thought maybe i should have a little change of scenery. Eating breakfast i went back and forth if i should really go to the...DRUMMMROLLLL pleasssee........LIBRARY. Hell..the library won. So i ended up trudging to the library...used the word 'trudging' as i completely misjudged the weather and got completely soaked. Even my umbrella had died ages ago in an epic Portsmouth hailstorm. I ended up looking like a complete drowned rat when i arrived and typically felt it was the end of the world- But then i managed to find a quiet area with as little people as possible, dried off and to my surprise got an hour and a half of solid revision done. No distractions of any sort. Was pretty chuffed at myself for that little adventure. Maybe libraries aren' that bad? Might give it another go sometime soon? Oh well, really determined to pass this test on Thursday and then i saunter off back home until Sunday...cant wait to see everyone especially my little brother- he's my world !!!
It will also be good going home for some sort of caring human interaction. I feel like its been an eternity that i've been left alone in this house. I hear all sorts of noises that i'm putting down to a ghost or some sort of entity- and no matter how hard i try i don't stop thinking about Paranormal Activity. It feels like someone's watching me .......

Friday, 29 January 2010

At the end of every rainbow- is a pot of bad luck

Ever wonder how you tragically ( and somewhat deep down 'pleased with your self' happily) you end up like this at the end of a night?
Or maybe like this? Well it all started with Kaf having the day from hell. The night before she casually told me via fb chat that she had to be in for something stupid like 8am the next morning for a tutorial. She then sauntered off to bed- only to find out the next morning that her phone died which contained the crucial alarm. She woke up in a panic at 12. That coupled with nearly leaving a fortune in student terms in asda and it not really happening in the gym, her bad luck began to rub off on Toni. Slowly it persevered its way to me. The only way we needed to give it a good end to the day, was buy cutting loose. Cue a couple hours later, girliefied, slipping into high heels, spritizing some perfume, we headed out on a much deserved night out. The only thing that bothers me, however, is running into people you see ALL THE TIME and have nothing to say too, or people you would just rather avoid. The latter, specially really gets me in a pickle. There are ALOT of people who just seem to pop up at the most inconvenient times and places, and you turn BRIGHT RED and wish you would just crumble into the ground and just die. And the worst thing?? The awkward moment when you suddenly appear face to face with that dreaded demon in disguise. Its a bit like.....where do i look? Look straight at you....look at the ceiling.....look sideways....give an awkward smile...say hi?......pretend i havent noticed you.....be blatantly rude and just walk past....ignore them......pretend to trip up over an invisible 'stone' (anything ANYTHING to get out of a horrific convo with YOU )........SEE WHAT I MEAN??? There's just far too many options in that split second, so instead of making it as less awkward as possible....you end up standing there like an idiot with a funny confuzzled gaze in your weak little eyes. Its such a daunting task, however by now you should probably think i'm used to it ??

Other than that little rant.....we ended up totally having a ball. I swear no one can party like me and my friends. We forget about our problems and make life seem worth living. I love how everything i worried about in the day or perhaps even the past couple of days, lingers in the background and all i think about is the present. I hate thinking about my past....and i think wayyyy too much about my future. I need a balance. Doing these fun things gives me that balance. I don't just go out and party because im 'wild' or 'crazy' or 'young'......i do it because it gives me time to just concentrate on what i have going in my life right now. Incredible friends who are family to me......thinking about the future is great....but i might not ALWAYS have these people here for me as right now i'm surrounded by them....i will not ALWAYS have Guildhall at my doorstep all the time either. New memories will be made sometime....but right now im happy with the ones i make in the present every day :) Christ we have a lot of fun. Its crucial for me to just be ME...unlike that dreaded time...when i went out dressed like i was in the army.....i might look happy in the picture below.....but trust me you didn't see me in that frikken army hat.......ohh boy.....i put it in Pooey's bag half way through the night....and i DON'T want it back :D

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Being a Sassy Student is not so Sassy

Its that time of year, when all the students have their nose dived in their books. A little part of me dies whenever i pass the uni library- can people really study in a library???? Its mostly taken up by those pesky business students. Going to the library for me is an occurrence that happens once every blue moon- i don't see the point of it. The sight of other people ( even if they are silent) is enough to get me distracted. I mean can i really concentrate when a hot guy walks in?? The only thing i concentrate on is whipping out my mirror to check if i'm looking somewhat decent and don't have spinach stuck on my teeth. - But point is its been a bit dead on the whole 'going out' scene. I don't get it really? I need to go out and have some fun with Kaf and Pooey, otherwise i die slowly of boredom and sure revision is good but only in small amounts. I'll give u an example of a recent time we went out. for example, one day we were sitting in Tiger- we look somewhat happy but in reality- guess what we were thinking?? (WHERE THE FLIPPIN HECK IS EVERYONE???)
But then we thought of the poor sods sitting at home revising away, not understanding the great meaning of life- SO with a new track of thought, a new high, a spontaneous taxi ride and a new location, we ended up like this- VOILA :
I guess our good ol' fun times will never get boring :) On another note today i decided to be a bit more mature and went to Gunwharf to hand in my CV in for the 17th time. They have that saying about being patient and you'll get what you want: but i'm started to think it was a hoax :( I was pretty excited about the prospects of Vans looking for someone at the weekends. Their collections are just so rich in the skater grunge genre and i love taking inspiration from fashion like that. In my outfit choices i love to be whimsical and girlie, but there has to be something a bit 'off' in my outfit- something that doesn't quite seem to fit. Vans offer that exciting oddness i love to incorporate as part of me :) i went in with my funny Primark shoes and gorgeous socks haha- but they staff didn't look down at my shoes. They grabbed my CV in a huff and sauntered off. Oh well....i tried...first appearance is everything i guess paaaahhh :)
Whilst in Gunwharf me and Kaf also managed to catch Up in the Air. George Clooney is an excuse to go and see even the most shittiest film. Its weird though, some critics have basically referred to the movie as 'genius'. Don't get me wrong, i'm a complete movie buff, but for me inspiration is everything. I need a tear jerker, perhaps a true story, maybe a different story- something to really make me sit up and take notice. Even my beloved George didn't manage that. It was alright i guess...maybe more an old peoples movie? Should have guessed that when we walked in, where old couples sat hoping to gain that pleasure they once did in their youth. Oh boyyy....swiftly moving on tomorrow NIGHT OUT. Scared....wanna make it a good once.......might actually end up with tinsel around my neck like last time.........
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