Keeping yourself surrounded by passionate people. It's pretty obvious, isn't in? Obvious- yes, yet simple it isn't. Too many times we round up our popularity dependent on the number of people we call 'friends' than who truly make us feel like a friend. And according to the Oxford Dictionary, a friend is defined as: A person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations.
A 'bond' is something so unique to you that it needs to be coupled with genuine passion from someone else to make you feel like your voice matters. That your aura is sought after. And that your opinions are valued and that your thoughts, no matter how depressingly low or high in the clouds, are valid.
And you can only get that with a select few people you meet. I mean of course, everyone is different and I understand that there's people out there who strive off hoards of similar like-minded people. And truth be told- there a lot of people out there who will be similar to you. But for me, That's not enough and not what I classify a friend as.
It may sound brutal but I've cut ties with people in the past who I didn't feel as though made the same effort as me when it came to our friendship and ended up making me feel more shitty than great. There was that one time, I arranged my whole birthday around the attendance of one friend because it was the only day she could make it. And low and behold, she cancelled. The night before. Just like all the other times, when we would plan something, and I would be well on my way to meet (super excited and all) to be hit with a text with another elaborate reason why she couldn't make it. Totally done.
I was also very good friends with someone from my old workplace and our sense of humour was unbeatable. Which is an even bigger shame that things went south. She would mostly arrange things for us to do- getting me hyped up in the process- and then not tell me that she in fact wouldn't be attending anymore. Me wasting yet another one of my lunch hours waiting around for her (coupled with a few weekends she had wasted of mine by not following through with plans) was the last straw. I stuck up for myself and she just didn't understand my rage. Which further cemented my reason to end the friendship. Honestly I was gutted, because other than that I considered her one of my closest buds. It's just everything needs to come together. You can't continue to build a friendship with missed opportunities.
And lastly there's a tale of another girl who I still call a 'friend' in a loose sense. Meaning, when we do eventually meet up, she's fab, we always have something to talk about and everything's hunky dory. But trying to organise to meet up is always a process. It's stressful. And when we do plan a meet-up, 98% of the time you can guarantee a cancellation the night before. I mean WHAT is SO DIFFICULT?! Flaky people ARE THE WORST. I only ever see her with my other friend, who, bless her, tries her best to get us three together because she has more tolerance of the issue. But if it weren't for her. I probably wouldn't bother because it continuously makes me feel like I'm not important enough. I mean imagine having an emergency at 3am and her being the only friend you could rely on. That would totally be the end of you in this lifetime.
I mean all this sound like a nightmare, huh? But with all those experiences, I definitely have those friends who I know make me feel special. They share my interests, encourage my goals, and even if they're the complete opposite of me they take obvious interest in pressing me further about my life and vice versa. Plus, they never make it feel like they have the obvious weight on their shoulders to meet up. I mean, if YOU text me first to meet up and keep failing to do so then I'm sorry, I just can't stick around anymore. I'm clingy when it comes to that sense and have EVERY damn well reason to be. I have enough work to do on my own self-esteem and self confidence, that I can't have that particular factor bring me down anymore.
Needless to say, there's something so exciting about that genuine 'click' with someone you meet for the first time. There's nothing like it. And truth me told, those incredible moments of discovering someone new are very rare. I mean, I've tried to be that person who'll be sharing their life stories with someone they've met mere seconds ago. There's admiration in that level of spontaneity. But trust me, I have my own ways of being spontaneous. I just choose to share them with those who won't promise to tell ;)